If Only She Knew
by Heythis1workes
Summary: After Clarke's dad was murdered, she swore she'd avenge his death. She came up with a plan and her first step, get into the prestigious Ark City Police Department. But not everything always goes according to plan. Eventual Bellarke. Very slow however. I predict at least 10-15 chapters but I can almost guarantee more.
1. Chapter I

***Hello, this is my first The 100 FF. So I hope you like it. I have a really great idea in my head for this so I'm really excited about where this story is going to go. I'm warning in advance that this will be a very slow build up to Bellarke. It WILL happen but probably not for a while. I apologize for that but I find that their romance only occurs in intense situations so we need to get there first. ;) xxx**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of these characters. I just like to take them and put them in unnecessary dramatic situations. I do own rights to the plot. ***

 **Chapter I**

Clarke was nervous. She took a deep breath and released it as slowly as she could hoping nobody could see the slight shake to her white gloved hands. Even though there were only four people in the room, including herself. At least she wouldn't be saying the Oath alone or else she was pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to say the words. The two other soon-to-be officers were standing at each of her sides.

The girl on her left wasn't even shaking a little bit. What Clarke wouldn't give for that kind of confidence. Clarke had never seen her before but when their eyes had met for a brief second, she didn't question that this girl was meant to be here. Her eyes were sharp and calculating that immediately made Clarke feel defensive. She could see how this girl was going to make a great cop but still Clarke was going to keep a safe distance from her.

Now the boy on her left she knew. Finn was radiating nervous energy. They'd met at the police academy over a year ago where they trained together. They had a natural chemistry and thought a lot a like which made Clarke think that they'd make a perfect team. She was hoping that they'd be partners because of that. But she'd be lying to herself if that was the only reason why she wanted to be partners with Finn. She kind of had a huge crush on him. She never acted upon it because she didn't want to risk the only friend she felt this close to. But sometimes she could swear that the way Finn looked at her sometimes was more than just friendship.

But even today her nerves weren't coming from the cute boy beside her.

Today her dream was coming true. Today the promise she made to herself and to her dad so many years ago was one step closer to being fulfilled.

Almost as if the commissioner was waiting for her to finish her thoughts, he told them to say the oath. Together the three cadets held up their right hands and said in unison,

"I will never betray my badge,

My integrity, my character

Or the trust of the public.

I will always have the courage to hold myself

And others accountable for our actions.

I will always uphold the constitution

To honor my country,

My city and the agency that I serve." 1

There was a small twinge of guilt as Clarke realized she might not be able to live to those words but she quickly pushed the guilt away. She'd rather live with the guilt than live with the pain.

"Congratulations. You are the newest members of the Arkcity Police Department," Commissioner Kane said in an almost bored voice. Clarke inwardly rolled her eyes. Like he had somewhere better to be. "Report back here at 6 A.M. Monday morning. You are dismissed."

With it just being the three of them in the room, apart from the commissioner, there was no reason to stay behind. As they headed out of the police department, Finn released a breath he seemed to be holding since the beginning of the ceremony. He turned to Clarke and gave her a huge smile and trapped her in a bear hug that made her giggle nervously and then inwardly chastised herself for being so cliché.

The other girl ignored them and was already ten feet away when Finn yelled, "Wait!"

She turned around with a skeptical look on her face. Finn took that as his cue,"We are three of the select few that actually got into the Arkcity Police Department! It's Friday and we don't have to be in until Monday. We should go celebrate!"

A smile slowly worked onto her face as Finn's logic caught up with her and for a moment Clarke forgot how intimidating she could be with a smile like that. She started walking back towards Clarke and Finn.

"Ya, I could go for a drink," she replied.

Finn smiled, "Alright first round is on me. Clarke's got round 2 because I just realized how rude we've been. I'm Finn and this is Clarke." Clarke nodded and smiled at the girl whose name she still didn't know.

"I'm Raven. I guess that means I'm paying for round 3. Damn, we're getting drunk tonight aren't we?" the girl replied with an amused tone.

"You guys go ahead. I'll catch up later. There's something I have to do first," Clarke said wistfully.

Finn gave her a look that she knew well enough by now. He was making sure she was okay. Clarke simply nodded and smiled. She then said a quick goodbye to her fellow cadets. Finn and Raven walked in the direction of the nearest bar while Clarke clutched her bag tensely and headed in the opposite direction towards the outskirts of town.

When Clarke got to her destination she dropped to her knees and a few rebellious tears fought there way down her cheek. She pulled a lily she bought on her way to the ceremony this morning from her bag.

"Dad, I did it!" she said with a hoarse voice, trying to hold back the tears as she lay the lily on the ground "I miss you so much." A few more tears slipped as the emotion took ahold of Clarke. Then with a more serious tone, one filled with more courage then she felt and a little bit of menace, "I'm one step closer to avenging your death."

Clarke sat cross-legged , tears falling freely from her eyes as she read the words "loving husband and father" over and over again on the tombstone in front of her and wondered what happened to her father, why had he been murdered? And what happened to her mother? Why was her body never found? Was she still alive? If so, where was she? Why did she leave Clarke an orphan?

Clarke asked herself these questions over and over again growing up in the orphanage and the foster homes until she finally came up with a plan.

Because after all these years Clarke thinks she knows exactly who did it.

 ***This is a little over 1000 words. I have already started chapter II but want to see if anyone is interested in where this going because it is time consuming writing this stuff. I came up with this idea a week ago and this is all that came out of it..1000 words. I beg for your patience and I hope you review if you like it or want to see more. Also, thought I'd mention possible smut so you know if that's what gets you going ;)**

 **Also, I don't have a beta :( so all the mistakes are just my stupidity or the bottle of wine I drank halfway through writing this. But if anyone is interested in being a beta hit me up on tumblr at..**

 **( main blog: aesthetically-heidi or writing blog: novelistically-heidi )**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **xxx**

*1. I did reference the official swearing into office oath with a little tweak out of respect for those who do say it with in real life. I referenced this off of the International Associations Chiefs of Polices's(IACP) website. I will reference on my personal writing tumblr because does not allow websites in the stories. My blog is referenced below . *****


	2. Chapter II

***Hello, I finished Chapter II! I saw that my first chapter got a lot of traffic and not a lot of reviews :( But I think a lot of people will like this story once I set everything up. I'm sorry for the slow build but since this if my first FF I'm trying my best to write a good story for you guys! I have no beta so there are most likely some mistakes. I apologize for that but I get so excited about uploading these chapters that I want you to read them as quickly as possible! I hope you like it!**

 **Without further ado...Chapter II!***

Chapter II

On her way back to her apartment Clarke thought about Finn and what he and Raven were up to. She thought about maybe meeting up with them but after the emotions of the day all she wanted to do was curl up on her sofa with a tall glass of wine.

She sent a quick text to Finn to let him know she wasn't going to be able to meet up with them. He didn't reply and Clarke knew he was probably a little too tipsy to check his phone. That was Finn though, always having a good time. His carefree spirit was of the things she liked most about him even if she didn't understand it. Clarke was very serious but that's because she had to be.

 _Growing up in the orphanage was difficult to say the least. Ark City was one of the few cities that was safe from the carnage of the war that occurred years ago. By the time Clarke was born the world had almost turned back to normal but that didn't mean they still weren't suffering from lack of resources. There was barely enough food to go around for people with money let alone for those in the orphanage. The older children were notorious for stealing from the younger and weaker children. It wasn't right but they did what they had to do to survive. As much as Clarke tried to stand up for them it was never enough. That's when Clarke took it upon herself to make sure the younger kids were fed no matter what. Even if that meant she went hungry._

 _Clarke remembered the one time that she didn't eat for a week because she was rationing out her food to all the younger children but it still wasn't enough. There were so many young children dying from starvation and Clarke couldn't handle it. After one of the children that she grew to care about died, she ran into town hoping to get away from it all. Maybe she would be able to find a way to make money or maybe somebody would give her some scraps so she could feed some of the younger children. But it was to no avail. She was mourning for the child that just died and she was slowly starving to death and nothing she could do about it. That's just the way it was growing up for Clarke. It was late evening and she needed to head back to the orphanage but she wasn't ready to head back empty handed just yet._

 _Clarke decided to take a stroll into the park before heading back. She stopped at the playground and sat on the swing when she heard a strange noise. At first she was scared until she realized it was a sob. Her eyes followed the sound to its source. About 10 feet away was a young boy sitting on a bench with his face in his hands. She wouldn't have noticed him if he wasn't crying because he was partially hidden behind the bushes. Clarke didn't know if she should talk to him or leave him to his sorrow but before she could make a decision the boy snapped his head up and quickly wiped his eyes, staring at her curiously. The intensity of his stare, like he was seeing into her soul, caught Clarke off guard and she fell off the swing._

 _The boy quickly ran up to her and offered out his hand, "Are you okay?" he asked with a little sniffle after he spoke. She could still see the tear trails on his face but the sincerity of his tone made her grab his hand and nod. She was still unable to speak under the intensity of his gaze. He pulled her up and quickly released her. They stared at each other for a moment and Clarke realized he wasn't as young as she thought. He looked about 16, only two years older than her, but she knew it probably wasn't safe to be out here so she looked away and started heading in the direction of the orphanage._

" _Wait," the curious boy said. He ran over to the bench he was sitting at and grabbed a bag that Clarke didn't notice before. He walked back to her while reaching into the bag, pulling something out. When he returned to where Clarke was standing she saw it was just a sandwich, not the gun she had been picturing him pulling out on her. Yeah she had been told multiple times at the orphanage that she had a wildly active imagination buy hey you could never know what's going to happen late at night in a park when a strange boy is walking towards you while pulling something out his bag. Anyway, he split it in two and offered her half of it saying, "I'll give you half my sandwich if you stay for a little bit, I really don't' want to be alone right now."_

 _Clarke wasn't sure whether she could trust this guy or not. But when her stomach growled at the sight of the sandwich she had no choice but to accept. She nodded her head and the boy flashed a brilliant smile that made her heart skip a beat. It was strange to see since his cheeks were still tear stained but his smile radiated happiness. Clarke quickly grabbed her half of the sandwich and sat down on the swing she fell off of. The boy sat on the swing right next to her and asked,_

" _So, what're you running away from?"_

" _I might ask you the same thing," Clarke replied in between bites of the delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She hadn't had peanut butter since her parents were still alive._

 _She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and saw him give a small smile._

" _I just found out some bad news and wanted to be alone but once I was alone I realized I actually don't want to be alone. Does that make sense?" He asked in a sad but amused tone._

 _Clarke nodded her head, "Strangely, I know exactly what you mean. What happened?"_

 _The boy stared for a while at Clarke as if wondering if he could trust her. He simply shrugged and said, "I thought I had everything figured out, ya know? Then life just threw this curveball at me." He stared into Clarke's eyes, "Have you ever felt like you were so happy that nothing could go wrong but then in a blink of an eye everything ended up in flames?" He said it with a soft anger that Clarke knew wasn't directed at her but left wanting to stay on his good side._

"Yeah like one second you're the happiest person in the world. With parents who love you and would do anything for you and then the next your dad is murdered and your mom disappears." Clarke responded bitterly. She didn't mean to share so much and was afraid that she scared the boy with such a horrible reply but he simply nodded, "Exactly."

 _Clarke never knew if he thought she was serious or just making up a scenario but something about the way he looked at her after her response was something close to kinship. His dark eyes were still intimidating but there she could see a flash of sadness that she had seen in the mirror every since her parents' death. She felt like they understood each other without having to say anything else. As they finished up their sandwich they sat in comfortable silence. Eventually the boy said he had to go and Clarke nodded her head in agreement. She knew the caretakers at the orphanage wouldn't care that she was gone but she didn't want to be locked out or else she'd end up sleeping on the porch swing again._

 _As she went to walk in the direction of the orphanage she heard the boy call out, "What's your name?" She turned around and yelled, "Clarke, what's yours?" She responded._

For a quick second the boy gave her a worried glance but then quickly composed his face into a strange smirk like he knew something she didn't and said, "I'll tell you next time. May we meet again." He stared at her a second more and then slowly walked into the shadows of the night.

 _Clarke was confused but headed back home towards the orphanage. She couldn't get this guy off her mind. Not because she liked him but she felt like he understood her and she hadn't felt that way since before her parents died. They shared something she couldn't explain and she ended up going to the park every night . He never showed up and she started to think she made up the meeting in her mind. Maybe it was just a strange daydream from the lack of food but part of her knew it was real. As the years went by she started to forget about him. But in the back of her mind she thought there was something real about those eyes and she knew she would never forget them._

Clarke was cuddled into her favorite quilt on the sofa. The T.V. was on but she wasn't paying any attention to it. She had more pressing matters to concentrate on. Will she fulfill her promise to her dad? Will she be able to avenge his death?

She quickly opened up the bottle of wine she bought on the way back from the cemetery. Craving the sour taste. She didn't like drinking it but on days like this she needed it to sleep. As she finished the last of the wine and her eyes were growing heavy her mind flashed back to a night ten years ago. The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was the intense dark eyes staring back at her.

 ***Hmm, who could the mysterious boy be...who knows...guess you'll have to wait for Chapter 3! Which I have already started on because I like you guys so much. The weekends are good because I don't have work so that'll be when I post most likely. But hey if enough people are liking the story I'd be happy to dedicate more time to this. Let me know what you think. Or what you hate. Or tell me how your day is. I just love hearing from you guys! Hit me up on tumblr (aesthetically-heidi or novelistically-heidi) :)***


	3. Chapter III

*Happy Monday! I have a treat for you! A new chapter and I have to say I like where this is going! I would like to thank everybody for their favorites, follows and the one guest who reviewed! Thank you! I can't wait for you guys to read this and that's why there are probably a couple of mistakes. So I apologize in advance for that!*

*Disclaimer I do not own the rights to any of these characters, I just like to put them through emotion turmoil*

 **Chapter III**

Clarke spent the rest of the weekend dreaming about those damn eyes. They slightly haunted her. They didn't scare her but they didn't bring comfort to her either. Like in the depths of those eyes was a terrible secret. She tried to remember what the boy looked like but her mind came up blank. All she could remember was that knowing smirk and his intense gaze.

Clarke's thoughts were interrupted as her phone loudly rang and she saw a text from Finn. Clarke rolled her eyes, of course he was late and now she was going to be late for her first day on the job. Almost all her annoyance with Finn disappeared as he held up the familiar coffee cup. Almost. As she sat in the passenger seat of Finn's Prius she sipped her coffee. She was a bundle of nerves but Finn seemed calm.

"Aren't you nervous?" Clarke asked

"No, not really. I think the hard part was getting in. I just hope we get partnered up. We could spend our mornings like this. Cruising around, sipping coffee and talking about how stuck up Commissioner Kane is, " Finn said jokingly. Clarke rolled her eyes but laughed. Apparently, Clarke wasn't the only one who noticed the commissioner's icy demeanor. She liked how Finn could always get her to laugh even when she was nervous or scared or mad. He always knew what to say and she found comfort in it and in him.

Clarke hummed a reply finding contentment that this could be her daily routine. Although her plan was to get access to the police department and the information inside, she still wanted to remain a cop after her plan was completed. She still believed in the oath she took and she fully planned to live by those rules. There was just going to one exception. Clarke had a long time to plot out her revenge and if everything went accordingly then she would be able to get away scot-free.

But, of course, nothing every goes according to plan.

Clarke and Finn walked into the police station with only 5 minutes to spare and headed into the locker room to change into their uniforms.

Raven was already there looking stressed until she saw them walk in, "What the hell you guys? Cutting it kind of short. I thought I was going to have to the report to the commissioner by myself." She said in an annoyed tone while stifling a shiver, "That guy gives me the creeps."

Clarke simply shrugged, "Blame Finn, I was ready an hour before he even got to my house." She gave him playful punch to the shoulder.

Finn put his hands up in surrender, "Sorry for thinking you guys would want some coffee!" he said while handing Raven a coffee that Clarke didn't notice he had. Something in Clarke's gut tightened but this was no time for her to be jealous. They only had 2 minutes to get the hall where they were supposed to meet Commissioner Kane.

As they walked into the hall it was empty so they stood awkwardly in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. Commissioner Kane came out of the door, a few minutes later, on the opposite side of the room. They needed a keycard to get to that part of the police department so none of them had seen what lay behind it.

Walking towards them beside Kane was a young deputy. As the commissioner came to a stop in front of the new officers he said in a bored tone, "This is Deputy Murphy. He is a last minute addition. We now have four deputies in this class. Now time for the tour."

Clarke took a quick glance at the newest addition to their Deputy class. He had a look on his face like he was disgusted at everything and everyone. She wondered if he even wanted to be here. By the look on his face it was clear he didn't but maybe it was just the way his face looked. Clarke didn't really care and moved her attention back on the commissioner.

He handed Clarke, Finn and Raven shiny plastic cards that must be what opened the doors the commissioner and Murphy just walked out of. Commissioner Kane must have already given Murphy his. As he handed Raven hers, he took her coffee and took a sip. Raven looked like she was about to say something but held her tongue. Although there was a slight scowl on her face.

Kane started walking to the doors he and Murphy had just walked out of, saying, "These are you key cards, please don't lose them because it's a pain in the ass to replace and we don't want them getting into the wrong hands. You have Deputy ranked key cards so you won't be able to get through a lot of the doors but as you move up in ranks so will your access to other parts of the facilities."

He swiped his keycard in the slot and the doors opened. He walked through the doors and Deputies followed suit. There was a long, dimly lit hallway. Typical cop cliché, Clarke thought. Next they're going to enter the break room and find bitter coffee and donut crumbs. She rolled her eyes.

At the end of the hallway there was an elevator leading down. This was not what Clarke was expecting at all. These facilities must be a lot bigger than she thought.

As they all piled comfortably into the elevator Commissioner Kane said, "The main entrance is in a location I will show you momentarily. This is just a quick access door if we need to meet in the Ceremony Hall but we hardly ever use it. You'll find that the building you came from isn't where you'll really be working from all that much" Before Clarke could ask what he meant, the elevator doors opened up. Commissioner Kane went on about how the Ark City Police Department building was actually just where they put the interns and small crime prisoners. But Clarke was barely paying attention and from the silence from her peers she knew they were as distracted as she was.

The elevator had led them into the main lobby of what must be the real Ark City Policed Department. The walls and the ceiling were all made of glass. The floors were made of white marble. The ceilings must have been 50 feet high or more and the sun shining through the glass lit up the whole place. Everything was bright and perfectly lit but it wasn't hot. There must have been some special tint to the glass to make sure nothing got burned up. It was truly the most beautiful thing Clarke had ever seen.

There was huge stain glassed door that must have been the main entrance Commissioner Kane was talking about earlier. Each person entering through the main entrance had to swipe their keycard and scan their fingerprints and their eyes and go through a metal detector. All of them seemed in a big rush and rather annoyed but once through all split in random directions trying to get where they were going.

In the corner nearest to the entrance was a reception area, which of course was made of glass. There was a pretty, thin woman behind the desk taking calls and making appointments. There was even a waiting area! With sleek white leather couches and tablets for guests to use while they waited.

On each side of the huge lobby were staircases going both up and down. There was no telling how big this place truly was. There were people running up and down the staircases. Everyone seemed to be in a big hurry including the commissioner.

He led them up the staircase closest to the elevator they got off of and what seemed to be the only elevator in sight. Clarke noticed how the elevator they came from wasn't made of glass but of the same marble that covered the floors.

As they made their way up the stairs the commissioner started talking again, "You all were specially chosen to be a part of this department. We didn't choose you for your grades or your physical talent. Each of you possesses a skill or talent that we see as an asset to our agency. The ACPD is a lot more than just a police department,"

"You don't say," Clarke thought to herself sarcastically.

Kane stopped them after only climbing the next level above the lobby. There was a balcony that they stood on overlooking the lobby. When Clarke looked up she noticed she couldn't see anything above her. She guessed that there had to be some way of keeping things hidden or secret.

Kane disrupted her from her thoughts as he continued, "Now before you ask me or anybody else what your skill is just know we aren't going to tell you. Most people don't even know. Some people figure it out and some people don't. It could be anything from your kind heart to your intellect to your physical endurance. We have placed each of you in special departments where we think your talent will be most useful. Some may even have more than one talent and some might not even have the talent we thought they did." He paused briefly then signaled for a woman standing a few away to join them. Once she did he stalked off to god knows where. Clarke was happy to see him go. She had a feeling that they weren't going to get along.

The woman was dressed in a long lab coat. She looked like a doctor or researcher of some kind but that made sense. They obviously were studying Clarke and her classmates if they were being told they had a special talent. What does that even mean? Clarke didn't think she had a talent besides being sad and angry all the time. Maybe they found out about her plan..no there was no way they could. She planned it all in her head there was no evidence of it anywhere. Slightly relieved Clarke realized the woman had began to talk,

"Hello deputies, my name is Dr. Glass. We are going to give you a new title while you're working for us in the Ark City Agency. Each of you has been assigned a department to work in and each has it's own ranking system. I know this may all be a little overwhelming but just wait to ask your questions until you meet with your superior officers. In these folders I have your schedule, rules, location of your new department and any other information you need to know about where you'll be working."

She handed us all folders with our names on them. "Now report to your department and I'm sure I'll see you all around. Best of luck." She gave a quick smile and retreated down the staircase to the main lobby.

They all opened their file. In Clarkes there was only one page.

 **Clarke Griffin**

 **ID #: 0011**

 **Department: ?**

 **Upon receipt of this folder please make your way down the East Staircase until you come across the elevator. Take the elevator to your new department.**

That was it. She bid her fellow classmates farewell as she heard Raven moan "engineering, what the hell? I think they made a mistake," and Finn mutter something about political reform or something along those lines. She was too far away to hear exactly it was.

She made her way down the staircase until she saw an elevator. It looked exactly like the she entered the lobby in. It was made of marble but there was something strange and ominous about it. Like it wasn't used very much.

She slid her keycard and the machine didn't open. She tried her keycard again and still nothing. Maybe there was another elevator or they gave her a dud keycard. But then she saw that there was another form of security. She bent over and had her eyes scanned by a blinding blue light. It was silent for a second until Clarke heard the ding of the elevator and the doors opened. She quickly stepped in and saw that there was only one button to press and she was grateful because she would have had no idea which floor she was supposed to head to. She didn't even know what the name of her department name was.

Clarke was clutching her folder for dear life as the elevator slowly slid further and further into the ground. She must have been at least a mile underground from where the Ceremony Hall was on street level. It gave her the Goosebumps thinking she was so far underground or at least that's what she thought it was. A shiver went down her spine as the elevator doors opened to dimly lit room,.

And the first thing she noticed was the intensity of the familiar dark eyes staring straight at her.

*This was my longest chapter. It just got away from me. I couldn't keep the words from flowing! I hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think! Until next time!*


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